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I originally felt guilty about writing about the importance of having a mentor since I myself can’t seem to find one. But, like any writer knows, all it takes is a different angle, so instead of writing about the awesome mentor I don’t have I am writing about mentor wish lists.
You’ve heard the saying “you can’t find what you want until you know what it is?” So you need a mentor wish list. Sounds simple, right?
Here’s mine:
Men need not apply. I’m quite the Daddy’s girl and I’ve noticed I develop a father/daughter relationship with any man over 45. I’ve had three male bosses, the current of which is fantastic (and a little younger - perhaps a factor?). Still, men are more reserved towards women. A man is unlikely to tell me all the things I’m doing wrong because it’s “improper” or whatever - or maybe I’ve just had nice managers so far. Either way, I know a woman would not feel the need to sugar-coat things with me, and thus would be a more beneficial mentor.
Entrepreneurs welcomed. I want someone who has started her own business. Of all the executive women I’ve met, they all seem to be saying the same thing when it comes to climbing the corporate ladder. If you’re not in the mood to click, here’s a quote that basically sums it up: “Glaciers are moving faster than women’s movement into the corner office.” Career coach and best-selling author Judith Wright started her own business when she hit the glass ceiling, as did Michelle Ringwood, CEO of Pronto Connections. Women aren’t at the top in corporations because they’re leaving to pursue their own visions with (hopefully) more flexible schedules, and I don’t see this trend changing in the near future.
I am woman. I need someone who is a bit of a feminist. Perhaps that’s because I want someone who will tell me not to worry about work/life balance because it’s a load of BS. Maybe I just want someone who understands why I don’t cook or dust or do laundry or scrub floors. Either way, I won’t get along with a woman who thinks Suzy Housewife and Katie Career Woman go in the same sentence. (<– As you can see they don’t!)
Sense of style please. I’m interested in the fashion business, so I actually have a legitimate reason for having this on my list. It would be distracting and difficult for me to admire someone with poor aesthetic taste, which would make them a poor mentor choice for me.
I could go on, but I think you get the picture. Unfortunately, just having a mentor wish list is not enough. Think about it - the wish list is like a job description for a role that people don’t necessarily seek out on their own. In order to find a mentor, I have to take my list and actively search for someone who fits, then hope that person likes me enough and is willing to take the time to help me develop my career. That’s a lot of things that have to fall in place - or maybe I’m just a little pessimistic after searching for almost a year with no luck. There’s one other option - if I find some of these characteristics in a few different people, it might be easier to divide the work.
What’s your mentor wish list? How did you find your mentor(s)? Does anyone else struggle with finding a mentor after sincerely looking? Do you have ideas on how to find a mentor? Please leave your thoughts in the comments section!
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