Since so many people are working from home these days, it’s important to discuss expectations regarding business and personal communication for internet and new media types. Here are four rules I try to live by: I’d love to hear what other rules you use to communicate via the web!

State a preferred method of communication

Most people don’t write out the way they use new media to communicate, but what I’ve noticed is that a general set of rules emerges on its own for each individual. For example, I don’t read Twitter direct messages unless it comes from someone I know personally. I don’t respond to Facebook messages unless they come from my sorority sisters. I don’t use Skype or gTalk for important information, like accounts or passwords.

It is likely that you’re rules are not the same, because it’s all about preference. With all the different ways to communicate, professionals in new media have to be clear about how to reach them for business so that they can actually manage their business efficiently. So put a line in your email signature, or make your preferred method clear on your voicemail or business card.

My preferred method for all initial communications is email. Readers of this blog can best contact me at m@twentyset(dot)com.

Have patience

I am constantly asking my husband if he saw such-and-such email, and he tells me things like, “The last time I checked my email was at lunch.” When it’s 5pm. And then he goes on about how I live too much in a virtual world, and I offer to buy him an iPhone to replace his crappy Sony Erickson flip that he refuses to upgrade, and we laugh about how we are possibly so happily married.

If my husband and I are on different pages, just imagine how crazy business communication is in this ever-changing world of social media. The reality is that people have very different perceptions of how urgent matters are, and they filter and prioritize in part by the medium through which they receive the communication. But everyone has different ideas about the rules, and the internet just perpetuates the likelihood that two people’s perceptions won’t match up.

So get real and have patience when you send out a message. There is no 48 hour rule on email. There is no right way to use Twitter. And anyway, if you are observing the person’s preferred method of communication, you will not need to worry so much about having patience.

Understand why people aren’t replying to you

I will be the first to admit that I don’t reply to every single email. I try, but some slip through the cracks. And you can say that I have bad time management or I’m disorganized or whatever, but I seriously doubt most people at my level of connectivity or above genuinely answer every piece of communication they receive in a timely manner.

There are only a couple reasons why I don’t reply –

You didn’t ask for a reply – Sometimes people send me beautiful, long emails about how much they love my blog, or about what their company does, or about a new project they started. Then they wonder why I didn’t respond, and it’s usually because there was no call to action. So if you want me to do more than read your email and appreciate the wisdom you’ve imparted on me, ask a question at the end, or tell me what you want to come from the exchange; otherwise I usually mark it as “FYI” and move on.

I forgot – Sometimes I genuinely want to help you, but it takes awhile and I don’t have time right then; so I mark your request as “come back to later.” Then later never comes and there is no trigger to remind me. It doesn’t hurt to send a few follow up emails after a couple days to ask about the first email. But be warned – if you don’t get a reply to the third email, don’t send a fourth.

You’ve made it hard for me to help you – Sometimes my mom calls me just to chat, but she wants to talk for an hour. Sometimes people want me to write a blog post about them, but don’t send all the information I need; or worse, send me a generic press release. Look, the world moves a lot faster these days. If you lessen the time it takes me to help you, I am more likely to do so.

I reply way more than most people I know – so I think these reasons are probably why a lot of people don’t reply. Start here if you are not getting responses.

Sometimes you have to pay to play

Another reason you may not be getting a response is because you want too much for what you’re offering, and the relationship isn’t mutually beneficial.

For example, someone asked me the other day, “You can be an elusive chick. What’s the best way to reach you?”

What he really meant was “What’s the best way to reach you immediately, whenever I want?”

Look, I can’t be someone’s b*tch, and I can’t give all my knowledge away for free. So I replied, “The best way to reach me is to pay me!” (PS. If you read this blog this story is not about you, so please don’t email me to confront me.)

Harsh, maybe – but in this day and age, it is just too easy to reach out to someone for a favor. Thanks to the popularity of my blog, strangers and weak ties constantly call me, chat me through GTalk, Twitter and Facebook message me, etc. for advice or help, which gets overwhelming after awhile.

Don’t get me wrong – I love hearing from readers and companies trying to use social media. That’s why I started this blog to begin with, so don’t be shy about sending me messages. But understand that I only have a limited amount of time to help people who ask for it, and blog popularity is not scalable unless you take the Tim Ferriss route.

If you really want a direct line to someone, consider putting them on retainer with your company. I answer client calls immediately, at any time of the day – but it’s completely unrealistic for me to give non-payers the same treatment.

What are your thoughts on communicating via the web?

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I was updating a friend on my job search and the conversation went something like this:

“You should have listened to me. I told you that start-up would go under.”

“Yeah, but I quit before that happened anyway.”

“Either way, you don’t have a job. You could still have your old job right now and not be searching for a job in a recession.”

“But the start-up job was better than my old job. I accomplished a lot more in a shorter time period. It was a good choice.”

He stared at me in disbelief. “Monica. You’re unemployed.” His tone rang with finality. As if being unemployed were like getting diagnosed with leprosy, or dying.

Listen Up. First, I’m not unemployed. Second, if I were unemployed, I would be okay, and you can be okay too. Here’s why:

If you’ve managed your career well, you will always have more than one income stream.

Right now I have two – I have a website that makes money from affiliate marketing and ad placement that gets a quarter-million pageviews per month, and I am consulting two start-ups on their social media strategies. No, I am not rich from either of these ventures, but I am making enough to pay the bills and stay busy.

People who are afraid of not having a job worry because they only know how to make money one way. Even if you have a job, figure out what transferable skills you are gaining now that could help you make money when you don’t have a job. Most people are surprised to find that many of their skills are only useful to get the same job at a different company. And what good is that if the entire industry is tanking?

So work towards multiple revenue streams. But realize that “money in” is only half of the equation; the other half to work on is “money out.”

If you’ve managed your finances well, you will always have unemployment insurance.

Eric and I have impeccable finances, which I can’t take much credit for because Eric is truly an impeccable manager of finances. His frugality is a major part of our success, and I feel secure knowing I will always have someone keeping track when I don’t.

Where I add value is I always have little “schemes” (his word, not mine) about how I can make more money on the side, no matter what my main job is. In the beginning, my schemes annoyed him, and probably scared him. The only way I could convince him to let me try something was to show I could produce tangible results.

It became a game between us to see how much my scheming paid off. So I opened a second checking account with a couple hundred bucks to fund my schemes, and put all my earnings back into the account, never dipping into it for emergencies or spending a penny of it on myself.

It’s paid off big time. After a year we had thousands of dollars saved up that we didn’t even count towards our regular savings. Now, when my restless mind comes up with a new scheme, Eric is willing to invest a small amount of our money to let me execute. He likes having a Plan B.

If you’re a creative thinker, you will see your Plan B in everything.

I have plenty of ideas for jobs I could do to make money. I could give speeches about marketing or technology at local colleges. I could become a freelance writer for online magazines. I could create an online course. I could sing at a local bar (yeah, I sing. Weird, right?). I could write an E-Book and partner with people to sell it. I could even become one of those desperate internet marketers and put ads in my Twitter stream (okay, that’s not going to happen, really).

Furthermore, I can also think of back-ups in case we run out of money. We have student loans we can draw from if necessary. We have valuables we could sell. We have our parents who might be able to help us out with a loan. We have excellent credit and could probably get a loan that way. We have credit cards.

Okay – some of these ideas are not great – but you don’t need 50 million great back-up plans. You need maybe two or three to feel secure. And how hard is that if you get creative?

If you want to work, nobody can stop you.

You know the saying that goes, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” (or something like that)? Well, the same holds true for your job. Nobody can tell you to stop working, and you don’t need to get paid for all the work you do.

Look at this blog. It takes a lot of work to maintain, and nobody is paying me. But that doesn’t mean I am not learning and gaining skills that could be listed on my resume or lead to a paid job. And actually, I have gotten one paid job through Twenty Set recently, now that I think about it.

I don’t consider myself unemployed. On my resume, I have a listing for “Marketing Consultant,” where Twenty Set is one of the bullet points. Because that’s what I do now. By choice. Mine.

And if you don’t want to count that as being employed, consider that extremely successful C-level executives almost always have consultant work on their resumes. They are not afraid of not working full-time for a company because they know their most valuable skills can be sold in any form.

So figure out what you want to do, and then just do it. And call it work, because that’s what it is when you are trying to meet a goal or produce a marketable product. Your life is not tied to a job.

If you keep a healthy perspective on life, your employment status is insignificant.

Frankly, my buddy at the beginning of the post upset me. We have a mutual friend with a blood clot who has been hospitalized several times over the last few weeks, whose body is not responding well to the medicine. It makes me mad that he would admonish me for my choices when she is dealing with a potential nightmare right now.

And look – having a job doesn’t make your life easier all the time. My ex-boyfriend has a job, and his life is terrible right now. He leads a platoon and spends 12-16 hours a day running missions in Iraq. His team had to buy wood from a local store to build each of the soldiers’ dorm rooms, which are barely big enough to fit a bed.

There are so many worse things than being unemployed. You could be really sick or you could be in a horrible job that is leading nowhere or you could be risking your life for a country that doesn’t appreciate it. If unemployment scares you that much, consider you may need to reevaluate your priorities. What are you so afraid of, really?

Now, go fix that. And stop worrying about being unemployed. Life’s too short.

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